Drunken Shoe Porn in Honor of The Gazelle

In honor of my bloggie friend, Gazelles on Crack, I present you with the following Drunken Shoe Porn.

Tonight I went out for drinks for my friend Mandy's birthday. I only had 1.75 beers while at the restaurant, so I was well-equipped to drive home (well after I finished my .75 of the last beer). Naturally, I decided to have a glass of the already opened wine when I got home.

Well...I don't want it to go bad, ya know?

Mmmmm hmmmmm. Right.

After I partook in my glass of half-rancid wine (which I just spelled "whine"), I made good on my promise and began the drunken shoe porn photo shoot.

This is me, almost drunk, with a really bad hairdo. Seriously, non-cyber friends. Could you have told me that my hair looked like s&it tonight? I mean, I knew it wasn't a good hair day, but I had no idea it was this bad.



This is me, almost drunk, holding the red shoe, which was the motivating force which caused this whole silly photo shoot. I just took notice that in this picture, it clearly appears as though I am a pre-op tranny. This upsets me, but rest assured...it's just my ill-fitting jeans.



Here is my extremely large man-calf (the source of all of my running strife), which is only slightly de-manified by the beautiful girly shoe on my hoof.



Aren't they lovely?



And, since I don't ever know when to leave well-enough alone, here are a few of my other favorites. This is the early spring edition...no sandals included, because those are still in storage. Maybe there'll be a spring edition of Drunken Shoe Porn. Oh, the suspense.

Super pointy-toed BCBG Girls, which are surprisingly comfortable, considering the Halloween-ish toe and all.



Nine West patent peep toes. I love these, but they are a bit on the uncomfortable side. Which doesn't necessarily stop me from wearing them. Don't tell my physical therapist. Please.



And, because no woman's closet would be complete without a pair of purple suede peep toes...




Did I mention that prior to my drunken night with da ladies, I stopped at DSW Shoe Warehouse? The heavens parted when I walked into DSW this evening. It was like a breath of fresh spring air. I walked through aisles and aisles of sandals and flats and dress shoes. And, after nearly an hour of wandering the aisles, I came out victorious.

With a new pair of runners.

Typical.



There were like 5,872,928 pair of shoes in the store, and 5,872,900 of them were not runners. But, I walked out with a pair of runners.



And aren't they adorable?!

SPIbelt Winner

The day has finally arrived!

I say "SPIbelt" winner (not iFitness winner) because I'm sorry people...the iFitness belt arrived sooner, and I used it. My bad. I just couldn't wait. So, the winner will receive a brand spanking new SPIbelt!

Don't forget to give me a short report back and let me know how you feel about it.

If you don't, I'll cry. And probably stay up late at night wondering if you loved your SPIbelt or hated it.

For everyone that didn't win, I'm sorry. I really am. I wish I could buy all of you a SPIBelt. Unfortunately, I just can't. What I can do, however, is give you a coupon code to save 10% on your SPIbelt order! The lovely Molly has granted me permission to publish the SPIBelt coupon code for all of my fabulous blog readers to enjoy! All you have to do is go to the SPIbelt website, throw one of the little cuties in your cart, and just plug in the magical coupon code of 8022 to receive your discount.

And now, for the winner!

There were 11 comments on the blog post, but one was a duplicate, and one was spam (stop it, spammer!). So, the winner is being chosen from 9 entries. And, if ya ask me, those are some pretty sweet odds!

Oh...you didn't ask me?

Sorry.






Yay #1 Runtofinish wins! So, Amanda, email me your mailing address to joggerslife@gmail.com, and I'll get the goods out to you ASAP! Congrats!

Polar Running Watch?

This, my friends, is a Polar 190025960 RS200 Watch. Purportedly, this little gadget keeps track of your heart rate as well as running distance and pace, allows you to set pace and heart rate goals, has alternating and repeating countdowns/alarms.

Here is the descriptive mumbo-jumbo:

"The RS200 was made for goal oriented runners who want to prepare for their first running event or who want to enhance their running experience. Use the Polar sports zones and the event countdown timer to manage your training for that key running event. You can even upload your settings to your running computer and then download your workout files to the Polar Running Coach Web Service for analysis. Wearlink fabric transmitter included."


Goal oriented runner? Check!
Enhance running experience? Check!
Manage training? Check!
Upload settings Check!
Download workouts Check!


It would seem that this here Polar running watch is the answer to my prayers, but is it all too good to be true?

Help! Does anyone have one of these?

Better yet...does anyone want to donate one of these to me? Lord knows that I've spent the gads of money that I've saved on coupons over the past 6 months on REPLACEMENT NIKE + RECEIVERS!

I kid. I kid.

No donations necessary. I'll buy the darn thing if it works. I just can't bring myself to spend $200 (or more) on a Garmin...but I really don't want to be cheapola and buy this one if it doesn't work.

It's completely snowing today.

I don't like snow.

On another note, my treadmill run last night was terrible.

Aren't I just a ball of sunshine today?

I was happy to finally be at the gym last night, since it took My Gazelle about 25 years to get ready, but then my run turned to absolute crap around the 3rd mile. I haven't uploaded it to Nike + yet, so I can't tell you specifically where the actual crash and burn took place, but it felt like around the 3rd mile. I was physically on the treadmill for 60 minutes, and most of that included running, but I didn't start my Nike + until I got to the first fast interval on the Freeway to 10K Podcast. Which leads me to the next topic...

It is very early in my trials of the PODRUNNER: Freeway to 10K Podcast, but of course I have already formed an opinion of it. Because I'm slightly opinionated. I try not to be, but its hard.

Despite my preconceived notion that I was going to hate this plan because the entire workout played techno music, I quite enjoyed it.

Yes, quite.

I found the music to be exciting and invigorating, and not at all seizure-inducing (as I expected it would be). Prior to trying it for the first time, all I could think about was that my listening to this podcast while working out was going to cause me to discover some new condition similar to photosensitive epilepsy, and I'd name it "technosensitive Elisabethilipsy", just so that I could have my 15 minutes of fame for flopping around on the treadmill in a techno-induced fit. Oh, my imagination.

Alas, I had not a single seizure. I guess I'm going to have to find another way to earn my 15 minutes.

The way that the Freeway to 10K program works is that each workout is a little longer than the next. There are 10 workouts (10 weeks), and you do each workout a few times a week prior to moving up to the next week's workout. The idea is that each week, you build a few more minutes to your time, thus adding more distance, and by the 10th week the goal is that you can run for 60 minutes straight. We'll see how that goes.

Each workout has a series of fast and slow intervals. Last night's workout included 5 of each. I was mildly confused, though, because I didn't listen to the instructions very carefully at the beginning, and I wasn't sure whether I was supposed to start with a slow or a fast interval after the warm-up. I began with a 5 minute fast interval, and then a 4 minute slow interval. By the time that I got to the second "fast" interval, I was questioning whether I was really supposed to be doing a slow interval instead because the music seemed slower than the last interval. I don't know.

I'm confused.

What?

In any case, I just stuck with my plan, the slows maybe should have been fasts and vice versa, but I just went with it. My suggestion to PODRUNNER? Rather than just playing a little techo "boop boop boop" tone to notify you of a change in intervals, maybe try to be a little more clear. How about "boop boop boop FAST" and "boop boop boop SLOW"? I'd like that. Then I wouldn't have to think so much. I always like not thinking much.

I did some walk/run segments because, like I said, I lost my fire around the 3rd mile. I did make it to 4.2 miles (per my Nike +), and the treadmill said I was at 5.43 when I got off at 60 minutes. It was still horrendously slow, but I have to stop thinking that I'm going to just wake up and magically become Kate O'Neill.

It's just not going to happen people.

I know that building the base I need takes time, but patience has never been my forte. I am painfully inept when it comes to that virtue. I'm working on it. I'm hoping that the Freeway to 10K plan helps me to remain patient and build a sensible base, without trying to rush myself. I have plenty of time before my first "big" race, so there is no need to try to rush.

All in all, I think the PODRUNNER plan is a good one. I'm giving my JL Seal of Approval. If you want to try the PODRUNNER: Freeway to 10K plan yourself, you can get it here.

It's free. I like free.

SkirtSports Giveaway: Enter NOW!

Alright kids.

If you've stuck by my craziness for the past few months (or gone back to read my earlier posts because you love me that much), you will know that I love SkirtSports.

When it comes to workout clothes, here are my priorities:

1) Comfort
2) Cuteness
2) Functionality
3) Durability
4) Cuteness
5) Did I mention cuteness?

I confess. I like cute workout clothes.

And. And...and I like it when my workout clothes match my running shoes.

Was that out loud?

Moving along.

I'm not sure how I even found out about SkirtSports, but it was a few years ago. I was mildly hesitant at first about what others would think of my running in a skirt. I didn't care enough to let it impede my purchase though. Let's face it. Cute is cute.

I recall buying my first black GymGirl. Actually, I bought one for me, and one for My Sista. When I told My Sista what I had done, she chuckled and said "you don't run in a skirt! She then told me that I was "such a girl", and blew me off. Months later, she very nonchalantly told me that she had tried (and was quite pleased with) her GymGirl.

She hasn't looked back, and neither have I. We love the things.

So, I don't really care if you run in skirts right now. I also don't care if it's freezing arse cold where you live, because SkirtSports has found a solution for that. And, I'm giving away a $25 gift certificate from SkirtSports RIGHT NOW.

You have no choice but to love SkirtSports at this point.

All you have to do to enter the contest is tell me your funniest running story.

Did you pee on yourself during a race? Did you trip and fall over Jacques who was running in front of you? Did you get smoked by a blonde 11 year old in pigtails at your last 5K (or does that only happen to me)?

I'll stop allowing entries whenever I feel like it. It all depends on how many of you lurkers enter the contest. I know you're there. Google Analytics tells me you are. Stop pretending. As soon as I have a descent number of entrants (I'm hoping for 50), I'll be drawing one winner using the nifty online random number generator.

Good luck!

Oh, You Sneaky Gazelle.

The Gazelle is not a man of mystery. He's not a man of surprises, and I certainly don't expect romantic gestures out of the blue. This is not me complaining. I love this man. I love the fact that I can count on him, and I love the fact that I don't have to worry about surprises with him. He is not unpredictable, and that brings stability into my life.

So, just when I thought I had him figured out, he turned around and did the unthinkable.

He surprised me with the most considerate, loving, and romantic thing imaginable at this point in my jogging life. He took me to Fleet Feet Sports in Baltimore to be properly fitted for my very own pair of shiny new runners.

I was completely surprised, but I knew he had something up his sleeve when he announced on Friday evening that we had to leave the house at noon tomorrow go "somewhere". Considering that I've spent nearly every day with this man for the past 2 years, and during those 2 years, he has never attempted to plan a gosh darn thing, I didn't ask questions.

I just went with the program.

Ok...so I did ask him one question: "What should I wear?"

I'm such a girl sometimes.

When we arrived at the Fleet Feet shopping center, I didn't even see it floating among the sea of other anchor stores...I was still too overwhelmed that The Gazelle had planned anything. All I saw was "Marley Fine Jewelry". And I certainly knew that we were not shopping for...ahem...jewelry.

I kept scanning...looking for anything OTHER than a jewelry store.

And there it was, beautiful and necessary.



I trotted inside, and was given a full foot inspection. I was sad to hear that I have "baby bunions". This was disturbing, and although the lovely sales girl tried to make it sound a little less "bunion-y" by adding the word "baby" in front of it...well, I still have BUNIONS. Good lord. I have BUNIONS??!!

So, let's change the subject.

I tried on 4 pair of runners in total. After a few jogs down the sidewalk in 30 degree weather with no sports bra on (sorry breasts and innocent passers-by), I decided on the first pair that touched my little baby bunions that day:


Don't they just make you want to go run a 15K?

Yeah, me too!

Apparently, it was my day to be a jogging princess in The Gazelle's opinion. In addition to my shiny new kicks, he also got me some cold weather gear so that I can run outside for the next 2 months without fear of hypothermia.

Including...

A really freaking cool Mizuno Breath Thermo Stretch Crew



This bad boy (girl?) uses your stinky sweat to heat itself up and make you warm as you run. I thought that was genius. Especially since I hate bundling up to run because I am a great sweater. I can't layer much because I end up ditching things in bushes and then when I try to go back and pick them up at the end of the run, I forgot where I put them. Ooops.

This prAna "Jada" pant in black is com...for...table! And its slippery, so I don't see them riding up while I'm running. I also think that this pant has a magnet on the behind that causes men to smack your bottom. Well...maybe that's just the pair that I bought, and The Gazelle is magnetically attracted to them somehow. All I know is that I received a few extra bootie smacks when I wore these around the house yesterday. I think I'll wear them more often.



So my one concern about buying a non-Nike+ shoe was that I wasn't going to be able to use my Nike + iPod thingamabobbie. This was one of the things on my list of ongoing gripes with the Nike + jobby. What if I wanted a DIFFERENT pair of shoes??!! I thought I was locked in for life. I was wrong!

Enter the "Nike Shoe Wallet"



I left Fleet Feet a very happy little jogger.

I almost marched The Gazelle over to Marley Fine Jewelery when were were finished so I could buy him an engagement ring.

I thought better of it.

What can I say...I'm simple.

The Skirt Love Continues

I can't help it. I love Skirtsports. I might need a support group. They're having a 60% off blowout-style sale, and I couldn't resist. I had to buy more skirts! I also picked up a pair of Shorties...


And the most adorable tank ever...


My sister is even reaping the rewards of my Skirtsport love because I picked her up a new skirt and t-shirt.

Seriously...I am like the best sister ever.

And I also picked up a $25 gift certificate. I'll use it as a giveaway for my blog readers. If I ever get any blog readers, that is.

Victory!

I just figured out how to integrate my Nike + profile into my blog. So...I love you logyourrun.com, but Nike + is my new BFF.

Goodnight.