The Gazelle: A Study In Beverage Consumption: Part II

I bet you have been sitting on the edge of your wheely, squishy-seated office chair, just dying to hear about how many carbonated beverages my Pepsi-obsessed Gazelle has consumed. If you missed Part I of the Beverage Consumption Study, you can read all about it here. It's fascinating.

When I arrived home on Friday after posting the Beverage Consumption Study, Part I, I was disappointed to find that The Gazelle had caught wind of my Study. Darn internet. Darn smarty-pants. Darn him. So now I feel like he foiled my whole study.

I think he's holding back.

I think he's playing coy with the Pepsi this week.

The little sheisty shiester pants.

In any case, he is still far ahead in the Beverage Tally. I never doubted that for a moment.

Alas...we have the updated beverage cam.



First things first. Can we all ignore the fact that the photo is slightly overexposed? Because I'm really just too lazy to open it in Photoshop and fix it. My bad. Hopefully you can forgive me.

And so, before we get into the tallies. This is important.

How in the helicopter am I supposed to cook mango chicken sausage? I really don't know what type of evil demonic being possessed me when I purchased this product at Trader Joe's last week. Every once in a while I swear that I have multiple personality disorder (MPD) because I must completely black out while in the grocery store. I come home with these strange products (such as mango chicken salsa, quinoa, ummm...spinach, for instance), and when I am putting the groceries away at home, I cannot imagine ever purchasing these things, much less cooking or eating them. So I can only assume that I was not in my right mind when I purchased them.

Yeah. So if anyone can throw me a bone on the chicken sausage thing, it'd be awesome.

Secondly, no, there are not 2 packages of refrigerated cookie dough left. Because I opened one on Saturday night around 11PM and baked the blasted things. I had to. They were keeping me up at night with all of that hollering from the refrigerator.

"help me...it's so cold in here...put me in a warm oven for 8-10 minutes and then promptly eat me..."

I'm not kidding. It really happened.

So, I obliged and baked the little buggers. Well, all except for the one little raw beauty that I popped in my mouth in honor of salmonella. Try to tell me I'm gross. I dare you. I'll sick my ginormous calves on you.

And don't worry. The chocolate, vanilla & cream cheese frosting is still there on the left. You just can't see it because it's hiding behind that huge package of butter. Mmmmm...butter.

Guess what?

I still didn't eat that spinach. Are you surprised? Yeah, me neither. The mere purchase was a ruse. An MPD moment.

I also didn't drink that rancid wine. I decided to buy a new bottle. Or two. But those are gone, no evidence. You can't prove a gosh darn thing.

What? Beverage cam? Right.


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12/22/08 10:58PM EST

Beverage Cam--Soda Tally

The Gazelle: 10
The Jogger: 4
The Gazelle & The Jogger (sometimes we share...and mix it with vodka...but you didn't hear that from me): 2

Remaining beverages: 32
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Hmmm...I think I just heard a soda open in the kitchen. And a loud slurp. Must be that mysterious ghost again.